dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
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