Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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