okay pat passed out under dana's car
wat bout pragnant strippers??
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
