Texts From Last Night

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  (816): View more from Missouri

  I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.

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  (816): I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else. http://tfl.nu/ftgf
  Replies (8) Good night (602) Bad night (1248)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents

  (1-519): View more from Ontario

  I'm down.

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  (519): We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents (1-519): I'm down. http://tfl.nu/zb30
  Replies (23) Good night (3053) Bad night (928)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.

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  (479): I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's. http://tfl.nu/ybeq
  Replies (11) Good night (3827) Bad night (1285)
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  (985): View more from Louisiana

  Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!

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  (985): Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!! http://tfl.nu/9t2j
  Replies (60) Good night (6230) Bad night (1697)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps

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  (757): I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps http://tfl.nu/vrde
  Replies (4) Good night (2975) Bad night (1043)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.

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  (978): That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS. http://tfl.nu/x0o9
  Replies (11) Good night (3059) Bad night (1038)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable

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  (732): wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable http://tfl.nu/5ca2
  Replies (16) Good night (6495) Bad night (929)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  It's official drugs can't kill me

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  (864): It's official drugs can't kill me http://tfl.nu/v797
  Replies (13) Good night (2044) Bad night (725)
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  (310): View more from California

  Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?

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  (310): Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away? http://tfl.nu/o5qu
  Replies (10) Good night (889) Bad night (1978)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.

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  (785): That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do. http://tfl.nu/e7db
  Replies (12) Good night (2973) Bad night (560)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots

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  (816): I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots http://tfl.nu/14wj
  Replies (5) Good night (1478) Bad night (463)
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  (260): View more from Indiana

  I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.

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  (260): I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business. http://tfl.nu/cc6r
  Replies (1) Good night (554) Bad night (212)
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  (870): View more from Arkansas

  I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.

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  (870): I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting. http://tfl.nu/ibtm
  Replies (9) Good night (646) Bad night (484)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?

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  (910): Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days? http://tfl.nu/vw91
  Replies (3) Good night (307) Bad night (416)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this

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  (319): Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this http://tfl.nu/dy6c
  Replies (4) Good night (256) Bad night (549)

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