Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.