I hate all girls vehemently.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
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The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
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I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.