we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Randomize
