WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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