no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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