you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
