we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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