I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Text me some of your sweat
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
