Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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