He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
My vagina is officially offended.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
