i just had sex bonerless
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
You left your phone here
Wait...
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
