Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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