nut hugger
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
