so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Randomize
