i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
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