you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
