He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
