Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
