Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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