she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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