It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
