Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
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I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
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Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Randomize