i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
