The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Randomize
