My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Randomize
