im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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