i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
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