dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
