if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
