i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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