It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
She's not a foreskin expert like you
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
