There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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