sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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