Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
