I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
