Christians are straight up FREAKS
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Randomize
