Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
A+ Viking dick
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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