We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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