I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
