i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
