The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Randomize
