She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
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