Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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