how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
