His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Randomize
