How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
They have beer where we have blood.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
