areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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