Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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