He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
