I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
