Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
two words...techno handjob
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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