Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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