i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
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