Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize