You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
