awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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