that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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