I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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