I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
